


Lily Potter, Single Mum

by DragonHawthorn (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, AU: Lily survives, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, I don't know, It is now, Lily didn't die, Single Mum!Lily, Working title, because James sacrificed himself for her and Harry, for now anyway, hahahaha you have to deal with all my feels, is that a thing?, that rhymed (sort of)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-25 07:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DragonHawthorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So yeah, I think it's a plot hole that Lily died because Harry could sacrifice himself for the entire school so why didn't James's sacrifice count? Anyway, in this, Lily doesn't die because reasons, so she has to raise Harry as a single mum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peculiar Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter Universe, I am simply playing in JK's sandbox here.
> 
> I'm really hoping to be able to keep this fic going... so feedback would be terrific.

Lily! Take Harry and run! I’ll hold him off!

 

_ Lily had reached the bedroom and was standing in front of Harry’s cot, allowing herself a moment to steady her breathing. _

 

_ James didn’t stand a chance, and he knew that. He didn’t even have a wand, and he was facing Voldemort for her. He was sacrificing himself so that she and Harry might live, and she had never loved him more than at this moment. Tears streamed down her face and she held Harry close before putting him back down in the cot and standing in front protectively. _

_ The door burst open and He Who Must Not Be Named was standing in her bedroom, and she had never hated him more than at this moment. _

 

_ And maybe it was the peculiar mix of love and hatred swirling inside her that blocked out the fear, and allowed her to remain in front of the cot between Harry and Voldemort. _

 

Take me, take me instead! Please, not Harry, take me, kill me instead!

_ It was like a chant that beat in time with her own heart. A hopeless mantra that she could only repeat over and over, her wand on the floor below. _

 

Stand aside you silly girl - stand aside now - I might yet let you live...

 

Please - please - not Harry, take me instead

 

_ A flash of green light, and then there was darkness. _

 

_ And then light flooded in, and Lily opened her eyes. _

There were bright lights flashing around her, witches and wizards in white uniforms bustling around, but they were hushed as though they were by someone’s deathbed.

And then Lily realised that she was in St Mungo’s, and they were by someone’s deathbed; hers.

 

She sat up, and instantly her head began to swim. About a dozen nurses came running, shoving her back down, which Lily was actually rather grateful for because if they hadn’t she probably would have fallen off the bed. 

 

“Where’s James? Where’s Harry? WHERE IS MY SON?”

The nurses looked at each other, and then it all came back to her. James was dead, and probably Harry too.

She hadn’t been able to save him.

 

But then a Healer nodded his head, and one of the nurses went to a cradle on the other side of the room and lifted out a sleeping bundle. When the nurse placed it in her lap she looked at its tiny face, green eyes opening, tiny button nose twitching, and she realised it was him.

 

Her son.

 

On the right side of his forehead, almost covered by his silky soft baby hair, was a cut in the shape of a lightning bolt.

 

But it was only one cut, Harry was whole, Harry was unharmed, Harry was okay.

 

And that meant she was okay too.

 

And even when the nurses told her that Voldemort was gone, that she had a piece of skin the shape of a cloud gouged out above her left eyebrow, that both her cut and Harry’s would likely scar, Lily didn’t hear them, because her son was safe, Voldemort could never hurt him again, and James was dead, and she didn’t know what to feel.

And maybe it was the peculiar mix of joy and grief that allowed her to keep going, to live without James and to raise Harry.


	2. Birthdays 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few of Harry's birthdays over the years

1

 

On Harry’s first birthday, James was alive, celebrating with his family. Lily didn’t remember how it had felt to be so happy, not knowing what was to come - or maybe she had forgotten how it felt not to have him, because that was just how it was now.

  


*

 

2

 

“So, Lily,” said Sirius, putting his feet up on the table, “What are you going to do for his birthday? It’s not every year The Boy Who Lived turns two, after all.”

 

“I told you,” Lily replied, pushing his feet off the table, “Don’t call him that! I don’t know if I’m going to do anything. I mean, I’ll have you over, I expect, and maybe Remus, but I’ve only just moved in so I don’t really know anyone here…” She bit her lip. She had been popular at school, sure, but after what had happened with Severus she always found it hard to trust new friends.

 

“Hey, we can’t be having that, can we? You know Molly and Arthur, don’t you? And how about Pandora and Xeno? They have a kid too, you know… and not many friends. I’m sure they’d be glad to know a woman like you.”

 

“Honestly, I -”

 

“Nope, it’s settled, don’t worry. I’ll organise it.”

 

*

4

“Happy birthday, Harry!” Remus smiled, bending down to slip a bar of chocolate into Harry’s hand.

 

“Okay, okay, outta the way, Padfoot’s here, with a bigger present than you!” Sirius shoved Remus out of the way, pressing a long, thin box into Harry’s arms. “Yes, who’s the best godfather ever, I am, you can hug me now,” he said, bending down to pick him up and spin him around.

 

“Boy, you are _terrible_ at wrapping presents,” groaned thirteen-year-old Bill, eying the spellotaped Christmas wrapping paper with something akin to disgust.

 

“Hey, at least I _wrapped_ mine,” Sirius grunted, morphing into Padfoot and knocking Harry to the ground.

 

“Chocolate comes pre-wrapped!” Remus protested.

 

Pandora came in the back door from goodness knows where, Ginny and Luna on her shoulders. “It’s the girl monster! GrrrRrrRRRrrrr! Better watch out boys!”

Fred and George grabbed Harry, one on each arm, and ran outside squealing only to bump into Ron and Percy standing just on the lawn.

 

It was around this point that Lily intervened, getting everyone to sit down properly. She and Mrs Weasley were running the games: Pass the Parcel, Musical Statues, a treasure hunt and Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Luna and Ginny would be sitting out because they were so young, but before they started any games there was one thing the party-goers had to do - watch Harry open his presents. There was quite a fiasco at the beginning when Fred tried to steal one of the presents and sneak it into Percy’s bag, but Charlie saw him and, deeming it to be “cheating”, tied him up with several streamers. Harry’s presents were, for the most part, wonderful: a whole box of Honeydukes’ from Remus, a huge amount of Play-Doh from Arthur, who seemed to be under the impression that it was food, a craft kit from the Lovegoods, a memory game from Bill, Charlie and Percy, a baby Puffskein from Ron and Fred and George, and a toy wand from Lily (all it could really do was change the colours of things… and poke eyes out… okay, maybe that hadn’t been her best idea, but Harry loved it).

All of these gifts, though, were insignificant in the face of a greater power.

Sirius had gotten Harry a toy broomstick.

 

The next couple of hours were spent in the kind of gleeful fantasy Lily had not seen for three years, since Sirius gave Harry the one that had been lost when their old house collapsed. However, this kind of glee was the type that can only be achieved when surrounded by friends. Harry and Ron both rode the toy at once, and when that made it falter and fall the foot or so to the ground they took turns. The broom could go surprisingly fast and they raced with Bill and Charlie, who took turns on Bill’s Cleansweep and went slowly to give them a fair shot. By the time the party was over it was almost evening, and Ron, Ginny, Luna, Harry, Fred and George were asleep in their parents’ arms ready to be tucked in.

  
  
  
  


*

 

6

“I don’t know what I can do about it, Molly. Even if I had time off to do something for his birthday, what could I do? I just don’t know.”

 

“Hush, hush. Where there’s a wand there’s way. Now let me tell you a little idea I have cookin’ in here,” said Mrs Weasley, tapping her head.

 

…

 

“Harry! Sit down, sit down!” Lily smiled brightly.

 

“Mamma! It’s-” Harry’s six-year-old voice was cut off by his mother’s finger on his mouth.

 

“Ah-ah-ah! Eat your cereal!” Lily turned away.

 

“But-”

 

“Whatever you have to tell me, I’m sure it can wait until after breakfast. I’m just going to feed Guinevere,” said Lily, opening a tin of cat food.

 

“Mamma, please, don’t you know what day it is?” Harry was looking extremely put out.

 

“Of course I do, it’s Tuesday.” Lily bent down to plop the contents of the tin in a small cat bowl.

 

“No, it’s-”

 

“St Patrick’s day?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

The rest of the morning was spent deep in conversation about the patron saint of Ireland and why there were actually no snakes in Ireland, and whether the snakes St Patrick shooed away in legend were actually a metaphor for the original Irish Pagan religions. Actually, that bit was mostly Lily.

 

Really the whole conversation was Lily, as she didn’t give Harry a chance to speak. By the time they were done, it was a quarter to twelve, and Lily decided they needed some eggs. “We’ll have to go to the Weasleys’ and ask,” she decided, and dragged Harry, who looked close to tears, into her small battered car.

 

When they arrived at the Burrow a few minutes later they knocked on the door, and though it swung open at once there was no one in sight. “Molly?” Lily called.

 

Harry ran in, probably looking for Ron, probably following the faint strains of music - wait, _music?_ Harry had to investigate. He continued through the house until he reached the back door, and suddenly the music was turned off with the scratch of a record player.

 

Lily made her way into the hallway after Harry. “Harry! Let’s go, huh? Looks like they’re not home…” Harry pushed the door with all his six-year-old might. “Okay kid, you want a hand with that?” Lily turned the knob.

 

In the backyard among the chickens and overgrown weeds were a table laden with birthday goodness and fourteen friendly smiles .

 

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!”

  


*

 

10

A summer holiday in France - what could be better? Well, one thing - a summer holiday in France with friends. Lily and the Lovegoods were going to make sure Harry’s tenth birthday was the best yet. A day spent in the magical village of Flâner*, ending with the Semaine de Liberté Magique fireworks (the area had been enchanted so that the fireworks were invisible to Muggles). Luna and Harry sat watching the fireworks, each with an ice cream in one hand and a bag of brightly coloured macarons in the other.

 

_Happy birthday, Harry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Flâner: A French word meaning to wander with no particular destination in mind, people watching, window shopping and basically existing as a city dweller. From http://www.fluentu.com/french/blog/weird-strange-french-words/
> 
> feedback! please! I CRAVE ATTENTION!  
> little bit late, sorry :)  
> would love to know your thoughts, so please comment/kudos to your heart's desire.  
> PS: originally Arthur was going to throw Harry a robot dance party. this may happen on his seventeenth birthday. I have no idea.


	3. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Lily have something in common.

In society, both magical and muggle, it is generally accepted that there is a point at which the grief fades and normal life is resumed. There is sadness, and there is pity for those who are left behind, but to continue mourning is to reject the happiness offered by modern life. To remain in the dark zone of grief is to become an outcast who cannot move on.

Lily thought she had moved on.

Perhaps the only reason she was still sane, still accepted, was because she had equals in the survivors of the war. Admirers, not only the the hundreds of other single parents who saw the mother of the Boy Who Lived as a role model, but Xenophilius, his wife dead less than a year ago because of her own backfiring spell (it was, Lily reflected, not unlike the backfiring charm that had been the Fidelius charm and their disastrous choice of Secret Keeper). She had friends, not only in the Weasleys - Molly who sat with her when she couldn’t bear it, Arthur who reminded her of her mother, once upon a time - but also in the one place where she had never expected to find someone who understood: Luna.

So when Harry’s letter arrived, and Lily found that her tears of happiness weren’t so happy, because he was leaving, too, just like James, just like her parents, just like Severus and Tuney, in a way, and it was silly because he would be back in a term, and they could write to each other, and she would spend him sweets, and he would be happy because he would be at the wonderful school of magic he had heard so much about, and she would be happy because he was happy. But it wasn’t silly because somehow, bizarrely, she knew how Tuney had felt, and maybe even how Sev had when the words slipped out of his mouth, and he couldn’t cover it up - and then Lily was lost, just like she was to Tuney from the moment she stepped on the Hogwarts Express.

So Luna, the ten year old who had grown up suddenly and dreamily when she had to, found Lily and hugged her tightly until the tightness in her chest and the prickling behind her nose had dissipated, and then she hugged her some more.

Luna knew what it was to keep crying after everyone else has stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short - it was going to be part of the next birthdays chapter, but the feel wasn't right so that will come next. Sorry!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I agree, I need a beta. this chapter is very short as it's kind of prologue - Fear not! Chapters will definitely be getting longer and I will update Saturdays for sure.


End file.
